How often do you imagine a no strings attached friend with benefits? Sounds great, huh!
Well, not everyone finds themselves in that perfect situation..but many of us find ourselves in a ‘work damn hard for a living’ situation. So, let’s look at some voluptuous benefits that just might be dangling right in front of our face.
PLEASE double check and make sure you’re taking advantage of your workplace benefits (401k match, HSA, insurance, etc.).
Specifically, if you have the opportunity for an employer 401k/retirement match, then make sure you’re taking advantage of this free money. Here is how your 5% company match might really be worth $1,000,000… Read more
What’s your retirement number? $1 million…$2…$3…$4… maybe $5 million?
It’s time to paint your retirement picture. How does it look? Consider your income needs:
- House payment
- Car payment
- Routine daily living expenses
It’s time to think about your retirement goals because your daily actions TODAY will impact your future lifestyle and flexibility. I’m talking RETIREMENT money, not Walmart greeter money.
So, let’s say you answered $1 million. Did you know that inflation impacts the value of our future dollars? Over time, inflation increases the price levels for goods and services. This means that if you have $1,000,000 today, it’ll actually be worth close to $550,000 in 30 years when you’re closer to retirement (assuming 2% inflation). Read more
It’s finally FOOTBALL SEASON!
tons of college games today…
and the NFL season starts tomorrow for most teams!!!
That means it’s time for a checklist…
-BIG SCREEN TV
-Chips and salsa
-Burgers and hotdogs
Just like you have a checklist for the big game, you should have a checklist for your life [& financial life!]. To help find your zen and use your relaxation time to actually relax…try adding more organization to help keep your life in order! Checklists / to-do lists can have soooo many benefits.
I’m not saying you have to cross every item off your checklist…but hey, start by actually making a checklist. Once you have a checklist, you can add detail to the list by setting some time-frames and scheduling them into your calendar.
NFL kickoff is my zen! It’ll feel much better watching the games with an organized to-do list to help keep me smooth sailing. Use whatever works best for you… maybe a phone, notepad, or a calendar. And remember, a short pencil often works better than a long memory. Move that weight from your mind and shoulders to a piece of paper, add timelines, and conquer!
Heck yeah I spend money on fantasy football, sports equipment, travel, desserts, and gifts – you should too! Fun money is just as important as any other budgeted money category, right? Right!
Fun money helps to keep your life balanced. Your fun money could be used for anything that your heart desires…
Are you using yours wisely?!
Asset Allocation Definition (Investopedia): Asset allocation is an investment portfolio technique that aims to balance risk and create diversification by dividing assets among major categories such as cash, bonds, stocks, real estate and derivatives. Each asset class has different levels of return and risk, so each will behave differently over time.
5th Grader Definition: Investing diversely so that your investments grow and you can one day retire! Investing in a manner which fits your goals, investment timeline, and risk tolerance. A.K.A. avoiding 100% bonds or cash; 100% of just about anything is usually the wrong long-term answer.
5 Problems To Avoid… Read more
How To Be Secure In Your Own Finances
I feel pretty financially secure… maybe it’s because I have no debt. Maybe it’s because IDGAF about what others think. Instead of paying others (debts owed), I pay myself (savings). My only phone calls are from family and friends, which is how I prefer to live! I became secure when I determined what made me happiest – with no desire to drive my money, live in my money, or show-off with my money. By definition, financial security is how much peace of mind you have that your income will cover your expenses, emergencies, and goals.
Know Thy Self
Why is happy the new rich? Well, the old saying “money doesn’t buy happiness” is a good start. Whether you’re working, enjoying hobbies, or studying for your next exam… it’s very important to understand the true purpose behind what you’re doing. How important? Pretty fuckin important if you work ~40 hours a week full-time for a good portion of your life. Studies show that happier people tend to be healthier people – of course you want to be healthy! So, you probably should be searching for happiness in your career as well as your life! We can do it by figuring out Rule #1: Know Thy Self…
Being C.E.O. of Y.O.U.R. Family – Part II
Congratulations, you’ve recently been promoted to the CEO of Y.O.U.R. Family. Let’s take another 20 year snapshot of your life. In this example, you make $75,000 per year. You are now in charge of a $1.5M, yes a 1.5 titty fucking million dollar operation.
Mortgages & Long-Term Investing:
*Sexy Alert: you will always save money on interest payments over the course of a 15 year mortgage versus a 30 year mortgage. Now, let’s look at the options of investing and paying down your mortgage!
Warren Buffett is one of the top 3 richest people in the WORLD and he lives a frugal life, so what’s your excuse?
ME-llennial Mistakes To Avoid
You don’t need a shiny crystal ball to forecast your exact future. But, you will benefit from a little planning so that you can better position yourself for flexibility to achieve your dreams while minimizing your risks.
The millennial generation is said to be self-absorbed, so start acting like it by taking care of yourself. Maximize your potential and minimize your regrets. Regrets? You know, like that one night in college when… ok we won’t go there. Read more
Viagra for your credit isn’t something to be ashamed of, especially if you have trouble keeping it up. Unfortunately, your credit score impacts common loans that you may likely apply for throughout your life – think mortgages and auto loans. How would you like to save $50,000?
Making Your 401k Easier Than Your Prom Date
In today’s world, investing is a basic survival skill – if you don’t know how to work with money, then your survivability will literally be impacted. Here’s the bottom line… you probably don’t want to save 50% of your paycheck when you’re in your 50’s. Instead, we need to use the opportunity to invest in our 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s.
$10k saved at age 25 = $228,000 at age 70… Read more
Tits & Ass [Individual Retirement Accounts]
Ahh, the ever infamous question, “are you an ass man, or a boobs man?” It’s time to start enjoying both – the RIGHT way! We’re going to talk retirement (401k), IRAs (Traditional & Roth) and how using both can help you whoop taxes in the asses! It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a gal – you can still enjoy a nice pair of T&A, am I right?
Envy [The $300,000 Story]
The $300,000 story starts with your age, plan, and discipline.
Balls Deep [Hitting Financial Home Runs, Of Course]
We’ll finish strong with short-term and long-term goals, arguably the most important aspect of being a successful CEO. Are you ready to go balls deep? Well, before we start swinging for the fences, let’s round the bases. Read more
Sticking It In [Stock Market Investing]
I’m talking about the perfect, 10/10, sexiest opportunity that you’ve ever laid eyes on. You and everyone else is literally dying to stick it in. Why? Because emotions play a large role with investing. The problem with being a novice at sticking it in is that we typically only have the confidence to stick it in when EVERYONE else wants to stick it in.
Condoms [Protection… B/c Emergencies Happen]
It’s a good idea to establish an emergency fund as an extra layer of protection between you and those assholes out there. Do you remember that one time, you know, when you had an emergency? Like the time when the condom broke? Then your girlfriend’s period didn’t come and you had a heart attack while driving to the store to buy Clearblue pregnancy tests? And once you get back home you wait anxiously for the happy ending like the climax of a Will Smith movie? Yeah. Fact is, life plans are like condoms… half the time you don’t use them, half the time they fail (math) – so that’s why you need a protection plan.
Dirty Little Action Steps:
1: Improve your savings: if you typically have $100 in savings, then let’s start by doubling that
2: Save up 1 month’s expenses (1 month’s expenses should include must pay bills, such as: rent, utilities, food, gas, car insurance, phone…). No clothing. No cable. No bull-shitty items.
3: Continue saving until you’re pretty damn comfortable, ideally with 3-6 months of living expenses
Dirty Little Secret:
No one likes using condoms, just like no one likes saving money for emergencies. I get it… I really do. But, this one is a no-brainer. An emergency fund will help you with an insurance deductible, loss of job, career change, car repair, etc.
Sex Ed Class Pt I [CEO Lessons]
Remember the Sexual Education assembly in your middle school gymnasium? Well, I do. Worst. Fucking. Assembly. Ever. Whether you’re talking about the birds and the bees or the P’s and the V’s, the purpose of sexual education is to know what the hell is going on here and why. If school never truly taught you how to budget, how to invest, or how to live your financial life, then we have some work to do.
Dirty Little Action Steps:
1: R.E.L.A.X.- whenever you’re overwhelmed with the complexities of your finances, it’s okay to relax and take a step back.
2: Goals Partner- Just like you turned to your friend to make jokes when you were uncomfortable at the assembly, it can be beneficial to have a goals partner – someone you can talk things through with.
Dirty Little Secret:
Remember, as the CEO, your job is to set goals and make slow, steady improvements. Unlike the bar down the road, you don’t just “get lucky” in finance. But, the good news is that you choose when you want your “financial magic” to happen because it starts with your everyday choices. And, it always has.
Baby Got Back [Love Your Assets]
Big, voluptuous, firm, and juicy asses are getting tons of attention online and in the modeling world. So, it’s safe to say that these asses are huge assets. When it comes to assets, liabilities, and cash flow – you need to get in the game and know what you’re working with as soon as possible! No, I don’t want you to post your ass or assets online…although I’m always excited to see pictures of firm, juicy assets. The goal here is to get your assets in shape.
Dirty Little Action Steps:
1: Once your budget is complete, you can determine free cash flow (income – expenses = free cash flow)
2: Give your free cash flow a JOB, and then it can go to WORK for Y.O.U.
3: Create SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timed) goals for your cash flow. Examples may be related to paying off x, y, and z debts, increasing investments by x%, or saving 3-6 months of expenses as an emergency fund.
Dirty Little Secret:
- Assets are things that have value and are beneficial to Y.O.U. (ie: cash, stocks, bonds, paid off car, paid off house…)
- Liabilities [debts] are obligations that we owe money on (ie: credit card debt, car debt, taxes). The reason you don’t see school or mortgage debt in either category is because it can be argued that reasonable amounts of school debt and housing debt are not necessarily BAD. In general, we want to reduce our debt by putting our free cash flow to work.
Cash Flow is how much cash flows through your hands each month. Having a plan means that you will SEE the money, and then give it a JOB and put it to WORK for you. As you reduce your debt, your cash flow will likely increase (ie: credit card 1 had $1,000 balance, $50 min. payment. Once that is paid off, then you will have $50 per month to WORK for other JOBS).